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31 July 2008

Marriage makes you happier

Legend has it amongst slightly dubious positive psychology research that marriage makes you lastingly happier and has the greatest affect on moderately unhappier men. Ever the one to put these findings to the test I gladly yield myself to scrutiny – but give it a few years before you check up on me. This post also serves as an explanation for my absence over the last few weeks.


Three days on the coast of Cornwall gave us an opportunity to spend time with our guests, camping at our own exclusive site. We had a beach barbecue, a cliff-top wedding ceremony at Dodman Point and an evening feast in a barn. The flowers came from the hedgerows but the real magic came from our friends and a shared spirit close to nature – which feels to me like the very place that the Great Spirit hangs out rather than the local church.


Shoes on the beach


Putting up a Coleman Event Shelter


The campsite at night


Jude Simpson reading the poem that she had written to begin the ceremony:

Welcome to this globe-roofed church, sea-wide, steeple-high, Welcome, from your cramped tents (or spacious B&Bs!) to this marquee of sky.  The bell-peals here are from buttercup petals, the organ is powered by waves,  the stained-glass window is sunlit, cloud-patterned and cut with green grass blades.

So make yourself at home.  Take your place as part of creation.  Breathe in and let summer’s fragrance-flowered breeze dance over your skin.  Admire the colour-scheme, (very this season!), those green and golden tones!  Apply some optimistic sunscreen and please, turn off your mobile phone! 

Because we gathered here are the only network that you need todaySo welcome to the part that you – and only you – can play in this unfolding drama.  We, the supporting cast, are come to share in the joy of a man and woman who have found and chosen love. 

This is not love from a potion, sprinkled by fairies, blind or drugged. This is not midsummer madness or daydream, this love is not rubbed from sleepy eyelids.  This is love awake, aware, aflame, solid as jewels, as seeing as sunlight, true and real and sane.

This is not love from a playwright’s pen, but from the author of sea, sky and land whose joy blows through the tree-leaves laughing, whose timelessness gritted the sand, whose fingers shape tiny violets, and chisel the rock-face cliffs, whose love is as tender as scudding clouds, and fierce as Atlantic rips. 

This love is what you have come to bless - to add your voice to its joy.  So bless with your laughter and your prayers, with your silence and your noise.  Bless with your singing and dancing.  Bless with your presence, attention and thought.  Bless with today’s celebrations.  Bless with your lifelong support. 

© 2008 Jude Simpson.


And the food being prepared by our friends for the feast.

And you can see a post about the cake at my lovely wife’s blog here.

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Your comments:

Looks like a great event. Congratulations dude, I hope you find true happiness in your marriage.

#1. By Fairings on September 04, 2008

Congrats! Dude, May the Almighty showers tons of blessings from heaven on the day of your marriage.My best wishes for your prosperous future.

#2. By jessica on December 23, 2008

wow-look’s like you had a awsome wedding day and you were blessed by mother nature with the weather, congratulations to you both :O)

#3. By angela on March 19, 2009

Dear Bruce
Congratulations on this.  However, there are many who don’t agree.  They live in misery because there is nothing as lonely as being in an abusive marriage.  Only four out of ten of my male friends would ever marry again, and they made this decision after between 25 and 40 yrs of marriage.  None of them has had affairs or intends to.  They are just plain unhappy because of a range of issues involving things such as “princess syndrome”, physical and verbal abuse, disloyalty (discussing husbands’ personal issues with her family and opening the husbands to criticism etc); alienation of children…...the list goes on.  In this modern day and age when The Feminine is emphasised to the point of divinity there is very little recourse for the needs of men. 

As I said…....“congratulations”...but you are only a few people…..suggest you do some real research in society not just among your religious friends.


#4. By Garth on September 25, 2009

I think the best way to be happy in a marriage is if you are married with the right partner. I think some couples are not successful in their marriage because they marry someone without thinking whats gonna happen after the ceremony they are not ready for responsibilities and problems that may arise. Nice by the way.

#5. By Sophie on April 15, 2011

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